The Engine

I love to go places that I've never been, and see things that I've never seen. I am a gypsy explorer at heart. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so responsible because every now and then I just want to yell "ROAD TRIP!" and pile into the truck and go! If I could, I would sell everything I own (except for my clothing and a few other essentials) and just travel. I truly want to see the world! Unfortunately, that is not the life that I ended up with. But, I have been blessed with a few cool trips here and there. Last summer we were in the good ol' lone star state. (That is one big state!) Most of it looked the same, but there were some beautiful spots and interesting things to enjoy. One of the places we stopped in at was this small museum of transportation. There were military air crafts, a stuffed monkey in a space pod, vintage cars, other modes of transportation and some history facts to read. It was fun walking around imagining what it was like, "back in the day". Remembering some of the old cars and when they were first made, how popular some of them were...others, not so much. Walking along, taking pictures and talking, I noticed a block of metal in the back corner of the building with a sign above it which read "This engine was never used for the original purpose for which it was created". As I carefully examined this chunk of metal, which for the most part was just sitting there collecting dust, I thought, "how sad. Someone took a lot of care to make this thing just right so that it could do something, but then it never fulfilled its purpose." It wasn't even recycled to be used another way; most people probably don't even take the time to stop and look at it sitting there. Then another thought occurred to me..."Am I like that? I know that God created me and saved me for a purpose, but have I fulfilled it?" I know that I don't want to end up like that engine; just sitting around because I can't be used by God for the purpose which He created me. I want to know why I'm here. I want to be used for the purpose that He created me.

I've already learned that "it's NOT about me"; I wasn't put on the earth to enjoy myself and have fun. I mean to say, that is NOT the goal of living.

God has a plan for me, but it's my responsibility to find out what that is and just DO IT.

I've learned the hard way, that I can't just do things for the sake of doing "good things" because if I'm doing what He hasn't asked me to do, then I'm just wasting time and energy and probably making things more difficult for everyone involved. I've decided that I'm done making messes for God to clean up.

At the same time, I don't want the "fear of failure" to immobilize me. I guess for now I will take one day at a time. Remembering to thank Him for every new day, and allow Him to lead me moment by moment. I can't wait to see all that He is going to do!